Being married is easy. When you’re with the right person. One thing that we all have to think about when we get into a marriage is, are we on the same page? Meaning: do we both want the same things? Now it is true that people change. That’s why it’s better to get married later in life, after you and your partner have done most of your changing. A person’s core beliefs and aspirations in life don’t really change a lot. There are basically three things you should iron out before you get married. Do you both want the same things in life? Can you live together? And last, but certainly not least, are you sexually compatible?
When I say do you want the same things in life I mean, where do you want to live? Do you want to have children? Where do you want to retire? How do you want to spend your time together? If you don’t know the answers to those questions you need to talk to your partner. Having the same goals in life is important because you need to be a team, working together. If you both have interests that you’re each pursuing or one person wants something the other doesn’t it’s hard to maintain the oneness that is marriage. You can’t be truly happy if you aren’t both getting what you want, so it makes things a lot easier on both of you if the things want are the same.
Living together beforehand is a really good way to judge if you’re compatible enough to stand being around each other. You see everything when you move in together: how they unwind after work, how they brush their teeth, how they keep house. There are many things you don’t witness when you aren’t living together.
And of course being sexually compatible is a big one. Sex is a huge part of a marriage because it’s how you bond with your partner physically. The intimacy you share with your partner can go a long way in making you feel loved, desired, and just secure in your marriage. You have to be willing to let your partner know what you want but you also have to hear what they want and be willing to try to do those things. If you aren’t enjoying sex odds are they aren’t either.
There are of course a lot of other things that go into making a marriage work. The biggest things to me are communication and respect. If you have those two things then the things I mentioned above will be a lot easier to navigate. Don’t be afraid to say if something bothers you. Your partner may even respect you more for it. Like I said, marriage is easy when you’re with the right person.