I know, it’s been a while and so much has changed in the world since my last post back in August. Please forgive my absence, I had a lot going on at the time. I just started a new job and classes had just started as well. I was feeling very anxious about both and couldn’t focus on anything outside of my responsibilities so writing just took a backseat for a while.
I’m happy to be back though! Things have been strange lately and I feel like I just need to talk about it. I’ll start where I left off.
At the beginning of August I got a job and as some of you may know I had been a stay at home mom for a while before that. While I was ready to go back to normal socialization I also found myself feeling super anxious about it. It wasn’t too bad but I have finally figured out that jobs in retail are exactly why I am such an anxious person and since I have been home during this quarantine I am finding I do not miss going to work.
School started back up for me at the same time I started the job. I didn’t feel anxious about school but it did add a lot to my plate, which overwhelmed me. Which in turn makes me anxious. I was feeling the pressure. The pressure to do well and to actually finish it this time. It had been four years since I had attended college and I was mostly worried about being so much older than my classmates. I had put college off for so long since becoming a mom, but I quickly learned that was a silly fear. There were people of all ages in my classes and I felt super relieved by this. Last semester went by so fast and I was glad for it. Now in my second semester I can say that law classes are crazy challenging. It’s a good challenge though. I’m learning a lot.
When all this was starting, and my anxiety was going crazy, I decided to deactivate my Facebook. Every time I would log on to it I would just get more anxious and negative. It didn’t seem like there was anything intelligent or inspiring on there anymore. I also felt the need to disconnect from people for a while. Having recently been in a fight with family at the time wasn’t helping either. I just needed to take a step back from everyone and everything to focus on more important things.
I will say that I have not logged back on to Facebook. I never looked back and it’s been awesome. I did have to give up my jewelry business because a lot of my marketing was done on Facebook. It was worth my sanity though so I wasn’t too sad about it.
So what have I been up to lately? Well mostly studying. I’ve picked reading back up and am currently reading The Cider House Rules by John Irving, it might just become my new favorite. My two year old’s speech has taken off so we’re working on his words and sentence building. We moved into a new apartment complex and our upstairs neighbor is the absolute worse. (More on her in another post). My four year old started preschool but of course hasn’t been attending as of late.
I can’t believe the state of the world right now. It’s all just so scary. Staying home for me hasn’t been bad, I try to look at it as a good thing. I get to spend time with my babies a little longer. One day they’ll be grown men and won’t be around as much, they’ll have lives of their own. It’s nice to have this time with them. I feel good about doing my part and distancing myself from society and not spreading the virus further. Hopefully this will end soon and things can get back to normal.
Right now I want to take advantage of this time to write more. It has been hard to get motivated but I’m putting this out there to hold myself more accountable. Please send encouraging words! More content to come!