I never had an older sister. I’m the oldest. I was the one who had to go through life first so that I could pass knowledge down to my younger sisters. Because I am the oldest I tend to give off a big sister vibe to lots of girls younger than me and I’m proud of that. I like to think I’ve helped a few girls in my day.
It would have been nice to have an older sister figure when I was growing up. I was so naive and clueless that I learned a lot of things the hard way. My mother was more of the ‘figure it out’ type of parent so I didn’t get a whole lot of instruction there. Her main concern was that I just didn’t have sex, all the other stuff she didn’t bother talking to me about it.
If I could compile all the things that I’ve learned as a girl and a woman it would be something like this:
- Don’t let a man measure your worth. I know it seems like having a guy or guys be into you is the thing to do but don’t. They will come to you, I promise. There are boys and men out there who will use your insecurities against you to get what they want. Don’t give them anything they can use. When you show people what you believe you’re worth they will treat you accordingly.
- Just be yourself. Don’t try to impress anyone. If they need to be impressed then they are not worth your time. People like to think they’re cooler than they are or that they don’t need anyone. If you are you and you are kind then you will have all the friends you need. The right kind of friends.
- Don’t give in to peer pressure. It’s a big one, I know. We all want to fit in and feel like we belong. We all have a desire to do stupid things for the sake of keeping people in our lives but just go against the current. People will have so much more respect for you in the end when you don’t give in and just go along with everyone else.
- Give yourself lots of time. One thing I didn’t realize in my teen years and early twenties is that I have so much time. I rushed into certain things because I thought I had to do them quickly or I’d miss my chance. That could not be farther from the truth. I look back on some of my decisions and wish I could go back only to wait a bit longer before doing them. I don’t regret my choices, I just wish I would have given myself more time.
- We all have insecurities and things we don’t like about ourselves but no one has to know. In fact if you don’t point them out, most of the time people don’t even notice them. I’ve learned big time that people do not see me the same way I see myself. I have been shocked by how people see me and it’s all good.
- You literally have the power to accomplish anything you want. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Don’t ever let someone tell you that your idea is stupid. Don’t ever let someone discourage you from reaching your goal. You are female and you are so much stronger than this world lets you believe.
- We are the bringers of life. Don’t forget that. We may need men to create a life inside us but the tiny contribution he gives is nothing compared to what you can do. Without women life would not exist. Men need to remember they come from women.
- Don’t stoop to their level. If someone is mean to you or hurts you, rise above. Be better. Don’t hurt them back, don’t seek revenge. They will be seen for the awful person that they are while you will be seen as the stronger one who showed compassion when it wasn’t warranted. Don’t let the way another person is affect the way you choose to be. Don’t let their bad attitude and bad behavior change you and make you a bitter person.
- Don’t let past bad experiences control new ones. You may have been hurt or disappointed in the past but don’t take it out on someone new in your life. They haven’t given you a reason to mistrust them. Don’t push people away who have never done any wrong to you.
- You’re going to be okay. Life is going to throw some crazy stuff at you. You’re going to look back and wonder, “what was I thinking?” or “how did I get here?” But you can always change something you don’t like. It may be hard and it may be painful but you can do it and you can survive it. Women are strong and we have proven time and time again that we cannot be pushed aside so easily. You can make it, you are female and that is enough.