January 16, 2019
Will the congestion never end?! I am so ready to be able to breathe out of my nose again.
Now that that is out of the way, how are you?
I’m sitting here while my three year old watches Coraline. My littlest has been napping for the past 3 hours, which is crazy. My husband just got home from work. I need to start heating up dinner. It’s not too exciting around here these days. I took the boys to the library this morning for Story Time. The local library does a community story time for babies and preschool aged kids to boost early literacy skills and the kids get to interact and do crafts so it’s fun to do. Cillian absolutely loves it. He is such a social butterfly. He’s a miniature version of me. At least in personality. He looks just like his father.
January 18, 2019
I saw something today that made me angry. It’s 45 degrees here and the wind is chilly and the sun is covered by clouds. It is not the kind of day that would be good for little children to play outside. Especially when they are alone. I saw in a neighbor’s yard two very small children, they looked be two or three years old and they were not adequately covered up and they were playing outside without an adult in sight. I just don’t understand people. I mean it’s common sense to keep your babies in out of the cold. I try not to judge other parents because every one raises their children differently and I don’t know what their lives are like and I don’t know what challenges they face but sometimes I can’t help myself from getting angry when I see something like this. Children are so helpless and they need us to be kind and loving to them. I finally saw someone open the door and the children went inside but I sat there in my car for a few minutes debating with myself if I should go say something to them.
January 22, 2019
I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I have a few projects going, one you guys will know about in the next couple of months but the other is going to be a while. These things are all good things but I started to realize how much these things are going to change my life and how hard I’m going to have to work to keep them going and it’s just so scary. I’m excited but I’m scared. I’m scared because I don’t want them to fail. I’m also just realizing how much I have to do to make sure they don’t fail. I’m up for the challenge, I’m just going in blind. I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m learning as I go. I know in the long run I’m going to be really happy that I did these things, I’m just trying to get used to it all. It’s still killing my creativity, though. I can’t get the motivation to write when I feel this way.
I’m kicking myself this morning because I started writing a new short story yesterday but I got distracted by my kids and husband. Such is life. I could have continued writing after the boys went to bed last night but I was being lazy and just wanted to read. I should have been writing because now my brain is not wanting to cooperate this morning and all the steam I had yesterday is gone now. Next time I’m just going to get up and leave the room when they start distracting me. Hubby’s just going to have to deal with the kids.
January 29, 2019
You know when you bite your cheek while eating and you and already bitten it a few days ago so it’s still sore so it hurts even worse? I had that today, it put me in a really foul mood. I think mouth pain is the worst pain. I would honestly have labor pains again before ever having mouth pain. I don’t see how people get their tongues pierced, it hurts me just thinking about it. I had braces twice when I was a kid and it was the worst freaking thing ever. I hated every second of it. There was one time, when I was getting my braces tightened, a dental assistant or whatever they’re called pulled my lip back so far and so hard that it split my lip in three places and the cuts developed into sores. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t smile because those sores would rub up against the metal of my braces. My dad finally felt bad for me and gave me some money to buy numbing ointment and special medicated mouth wash to get rid of them quicker. I also got wax to cover my braces and make them smoother so they weren’t scraping my lips. It was a rough time for me. I even lost weight because my mouth hurt so much all the time and I couldn’t eat. I wish I would have taken more pictures back then when I had them so I can look back and see how far my smile has come. I am so thankful that my parents did that for me though because my teeth were horrendous. I guess in the end it was worth it. Thanks mom and dad.
January 31, 2019
The hardest time for me during the day is the morning time. My kids are the most demanding in the morning. They have a dirty diaper, they’re hungry, they’re thirsty and they want all of this fixed RIGHT THIS SECOND and all at once. They whine and scream and repeat themselves over and over. “I’m hungry” “Let’s watch TV!” “I need cereal.” All these things while the baby is screaming and throwing his cup at me. I haven’t even had time to pee. And my stomach is nagging me too and I’m cranky from being woken up by screaming toddlers. Morning time is not my favorite but I know it won’t always be like this so I’m taking it in stride.
February 2, 2019
I always second guess myself when I spell out the word February. It’s such a weird word. Anyway, we did our taxes last night and it is all well and good. Another year of being an upstanding citizen. We look forward to doing our taxes every year because we usually get something back. It’s like a bonus for being broke the rest of the year. We’re going to be smart with it this year though. We’re tired of living paycheck to paycheck. It will get better one day, I know it will. I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has just taken us a long time to get there. We still have a ways to go but at least it doesn’t feel hopeless anymore.
I can’t wait to start school again this fall. Now that we’ve done our taxes I can finally fill out my FAFSA and get the process started. I still have a couple months before fall enrollment opens up but that’s okay. I’m just glad that it’s all starting again. It’s going to take me just as long to finish school as it would if I were starting at the very beginning again but oh well. That’s what I get for taking a four year break.
February 4, 2019
One of the worst stages of toddlerhood is the sleep regression stage, particularly the 18 month one. Felix is refusing his naps so it’s either I get nothing done all day or he spends an hour or two in his crib yelling to be let out. At his age it’s not wise to start eliminating daytime naps yet. Even if he doesn’t want to nap experts say it’s still good for them to have some quiet time so that’s what he does when he doesn’t nap. Except he also refuses for it to be quiet. I also need him to take his breaks to so I can get some stuff done around here. He is by far way more curious and dare devilish than my oldest ever thought about being. It’s exhausting yet humbling. He’s also technically in his terrible two’s right now since he’s in his second year of life. He’s not an easy kid so I dread the horrible threes because three is the worst year. Cillian is almost four and he has become increasingly easier to take care of. He’s almost mastered potty training, we’re so close. I’m thinking I could start potty training Felix since he’s old enough to start now and see if they help each other out and get trained at the same time so I can finally say goodbye to diapers forever!