Tomorrow I will be turning 28. I’m not even sure how I feel about it. I feel like I’m at a weird place in my life. I’m not young anymore, I have some major responsibilities. I’ve learned a lot of things so I know better when it comes to most things. I finally know what I want out of life.
I also still feel really young, like I have a lot more to experience.
I don’t regret my life, I love my children more than anything in this world. I’m glad that I have what I have. I’m glad that I met my husband. I have experienced things and love that I never thought was possible. Yet I can’t stop thinking about what I “missed out” on.
Maybe it’s a late 20’s feeling. Maybe since 30 is just around the corner I feel like my youth is slipping away, which is totally not true of course.
To be honest my life didn’t really have much of a direction before I had kids. We worked, did stuff on the weekends and that’s about it. I was in school but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was just coasting really. I didn’t have to decide right away, I had a lot of time ahead of me, I still do.
It wasn’t until just recently that I finally have decided what I want to go back to school for. Which makes me wonder if it was my kids who motivated me to finally pick something or if it just takes longer for people to really get an idea of who they are and what they want. If that’s the case why do we feel the pressure to know it all right out of high school? Why are young couples pressured to get married and start having babies before they’re thirty?
Why is there so much being said to us all the time? I feel like that’s why so many people, especially in my generation, have so much anxiety now. We are told to do so many things that we’re constantly worried we’re going to miss something, or what’s the point in doing anything because we’re going to do it wrong anyway, or what’s wrong with me, why don’t I have anything figured out?
I have felt all of those things, sometimes simultaneously. I hate it. I just want freedom from all the pressure. Being a good mom is pressure enough.
Anyway, I’m happy to be turning 28. I’m happy that I’m healthy and still alive to make something of myself. Really, I am. I guess I finally have hit the point where my birthday isn’t that big of a deal anymore.
Despite this, I feel like the best years of my life are ahead and I have a few projects that I’m working on and hoping to reveal next year. I can’t wait to show you all.
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!