Lately I’ve been feeling really down. There are some things that have been going on in my life recently, some things that are out of my control, some are just hazards of life. It’s just making me feel like nothing is very exciting right now.
Sometimes things will happen in my life and I’ll let them bother me for a long time. Things that just need to be settled but I’m a horrible procrastinator. The stress of thinking about those situations and having to face them just makes me feel worse. I don’t even want to deal with it. It just feels like I have so much more going on that I need to focus on those things instead. I get stuck in this low place until I can just forget about it.
Sometimes life just decides to be a jerk and just keeps dumping on you even when you’re down. It’s always one thing after another. It never ends. I’m just so tired all the time and I keep waiting for the moment where I can just chill out and not worry about it but I don’t know when that will be.
There’s some lyrics by The Avett Brothers that really sums up how I feel right now:
“I don’t want to live but I sure don’t want to die.”
I don’t want to end my life, I have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to live for. I do know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that with time things get better. I just don’t want to live this life the way it is right now. I’ve been doing it for so long that I’m sick and tired of it. Why does it have to last so long, this never ending wait? A wait for it to get better. Why can’t the clouds break already?
I don’t want to bring anyone down with this post, I just feel like I need to get this off my chest. Sometimes we don’t have the motivation to do things we want or need to do. Sometimes life is hard and I think as humans we can get so caught up in how busy we are and how demanding life can be that we run ourselves down and it can be hard to get back up. Don’t mind me, I’m just waiting for the storm to pass.
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