When I was a kid people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I used to reply, “I want to be a teacher. I want to teach English.” I’ve always loved everything about the subject of English: the grammar rules, the process of writing an essay, even the research that went into crafting a well written paper. I was a complete nerd about it. My goal was to get other people to love it and to possibly help those who didn’t quite get it. I wanted to teach others the importance of why everyone needs to have the ability to write effectively. I had such good intentions. Now that I’m an adult and I’ve seen how teachers in this country are getting the short end of the stick, (and how good intentions don’t pay the bills) I didn’t know what to do with myself. I literally felt lost, all my plans went right down the drain. As awful as it sounds I just didn’t see the point in going to college for 4-6 years just to make $35,000 a year, working in an environment that didn’t have enough supplies or resources to do my job effectively. (In case you’re wondering, I live in Oklahoma).
I went through an erratic phase of trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. There were times I wanted to give up on the whole college thing thinking ‘what’s the point?’ I thought I could be a cosmetologist, a legal secretary, a yoga instructor, a billing and coding specialist. The list goes on and on. While all of those jobs are all great ones they were never meant to be for me. I was trying to find the quickest way to just have a career and be done with it. I went from job to job (which is an unfortunate habit of mine, I get bored easily.) Nothing seemed worth doing. Then I had my kids and I felt like I HAD to find something quick. That lead to being constantly overwhelmed and disappointed in myself for not knowing sooner what to do with my life. I finally had to just sit down and really think about what would make me happy. I’ve never been the type of person to be content with just working and making lots of money regardless of what the job was, as long as I made enough money to sustain the lifestyle I wanted. I knew from a young age that I would never be rich, that I would have to work my whole life. When I think about all the years that I would spend working why wouldn’t I do something that made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile?
I finally decided that writing was the number one thing that made me happy. The creative process of telling a story, of giving people something to think about, to express myself in the best way possible, it sounded like heaven. I always felt like writing just came naturally to me and I don’t know why it took me so long to just do it. I got in my own head and told myself it was impossible. That no one would care or think it was any good but then I realized I wasn’t even giving them a chance. So I got tired of dismissing myself and my work and just said, well you know.
I’m excited to say that my imagination took off from there and I have so many ideas for novels and short stories that are currently in the works. I hope to post some on this blog very soon for all of you to read and critique.
As for the future I do plan on getting back into college to study English and improve my skills and knowledge. I’m excited to expand my horizons and just keep getting better. My goal is to one day become a bestselling author and to maybe even teach others how to write. The thing about life is you have to be ready for anything. You can’t always control the way things are going to work out but sometimes that could be for your benefit. Sometimes things don’t work out because the Universe has something better planned for you and you just have to go where it leads you. I hope you all have a great day!